Wedding Shower Etiquette

Wedding Shower Etiquette: Keeping The Love

What could be better than being in love, surrounded by your closest friends and family, and receiving beautiful gifts from those who know you best? A wedding shower is a lovely event full of both tradition and creativity that is only rivaled by the wedding ceremony itself. Just like a wedding, a shower is an intimate celebration of the beginning of a life together. Good food, gifts, and loved ones–what’s not to like?!

Nevertheless, being the honoree at a wedding shower has its responsibilities. Wedding shower etiquette is something many brides-to-be find intimidating and sometimes a little outdated. However, by adhering to a few tried-and-true rules and suggestions you can ensure that everyone (including you) will have a wonderful time at this special event!

The first thing you need to consider is that, although someone else is planning the party, you as the bride need to have a say in a few key areas such as the guest lists. By keeping a master list for yourself no one will be invited to more than one shower and certainly only those on your wedding invitation list will be in attendance at your showers. Programs like Microsoft Excel are ideal for keeping track of your guests, their contact information, and what shower they attended. You can also add what gift they gave you to make writing thank-you cards a breeze!

When it comes to inviting people to your wedding shower they must first be invited to your wedding and secondly be invited to only one shower. The only exceptions to these rules are if your workplace throws you an office shower and numerous people contribute. Clearly, you are not obligated to invite this long list of generous coworkers but it may be wise to reconsider only if your workplace is a small network of people working closely together.

Wedding Shower Guests List Spreadsheet

The other exception for inviting someone to more than one shower would be if your mother, mother-in-law, sister, or maid-of-honor is eager to be with you for all of your festivities. These people probably want to be around and celebrate with you and will not feel obligated to purchase many gifts or carve out the required times.

But that’s it. Everyone else on your wedding list should not be invited more than once. Wedding showers emphasize gifts and it is in poor taste to expect someone to give up more than one evening or weekend and bring more than one gift. By doing this, you allow friends and family to participate in these important events while proving you are not expecting multiple gifts.

It is also a good idea to keep the number of wedding showers to a minimum. More than two is putting a strain on your schedule as well as keeping loved ones from the opportunity to celebrate together. Unless there is a surprise shower in the works, you should be aware soon after your engagement who is interested in throwing you a shower. If a few of the potential hosts know each other well, see if they could work together to throw a single, superb bridal shower.

Another common suggestion among the ranks of bridal shower etiquette is to limit the number of guests to each shower. Bridal showers should be intimate events full of those closest to you. This can create a delicate balancing act between limiting the number of guests to a limited number of showers but putting in this effort will pay off in the form of a memorable celebration where everyone feels at ease and is able to participate.

Now that you know the basics of wedding shower etiquette, it’s time to have some fun! Wedding showers have become much more casual over the years and most parties have a central theme. Kitchen showers, lingerie showers, spa showers, and many more fun themes give guests ideas for gifts as well as giving the host the opportunity to throw an exciting party!

If your host chooses to follow a theme, double-check that it has been included in the invitation. Also, if guests are purchasing something for you to wear, it is ok to provide your sizes in the invitation. However, do not include your registry information on the invitation itself. You can either place a slip of paper with the information on it inside the information or provide contact information for guests to call and find out where to shop.

While there are many etiquette rules to follow while planning a shower, it is equally important to relax and enjoy yourself. Because the people attending and throwing your showers know you best, cover the key areas such as invitation lists and then let go!

Here’s a quick list of do’s and don’ts to help you and your guests have a great time:

• Do work with your hosts to coordinate guest lists. Remember: only one shower for each wedding guest!
• Do send thank-you cards! A fold-over card is perfectly acceptable for thanking guests to your showers. Add their gifts and information to your Excel spreadsheet for quick-and-easy organization!

• Don’t throw your own shower. It will only look like you are seeking gifts. Plus, it’s your job to have the fun. Let someone else plan!
• Don’t put your registry information on the invitation. Add a slip or a phone number to contact for registry information.
• Don’t have guests fill out their own envelope to save time in sending thank-you cards. Take the time to do it yourself. It shows you put in the effort!

• Do have fun! This is your special time! Enjoy every second of it!

Contributor: Ashley Slayton

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