Saying "I Do" Your Way

Importance Of Wedding Vows

To plan a wedding is to focus on details. There are many decisions that need to be made, from deciding on a date and time for the ceremony, to choosing the colors, flowers, attendants, officiant, music, attire, and wedding accessories for the special day. With so many important elements, it is easy to overlook the reason you initially decided to have a wedding. Although all the planning may make the wedding seem like the end goal, remember that it is really only a ceremony meant to usher a couple into a new and important stage in their lives. The wedding vows that the bride and groom recite are promises they make to each other and swear to uphold in their marriage. With all the fuss about wedding externals, it is easy to overlook the vital vows and relegate them to the area of "mere tradition" instead of giving them the respect and attention that they deserve.

Wedding vows ought to express present love combined with a pledge of unconditional faithfulness and devotion to one’s chosen spouse. Before making these solemn vows, carefully consider both their expressed meaning and implied sentiment. Although many modern couples choose to write their own vows, be sure to consider the traditional wedding vows that many denominations and religious traditions provide. Not only do such wedding vows have a long history of ushering couples into happy and fruitful marriages, they succinctly and sweetly express the feelings of modern couples in love.

Writing Wedding Vows – What To Consider

Samples of such vows can be found on-line, or a local priest or minister would be happy to share them with an engaged couple. If you are having a church wedding, be sure to speak with the minister before writing your own vows: some churches require that their own denomination’s vows be used, or have strict guidelines that have to be met before personalized vows are allowed. Don’t despair if you are getting married in such a church, however. A church’s traditional wedding vows have served to marry countless couples over hundreds of years; their words have been honed and stylized to perfection. Be proud to join the long line of successful marriages that began with these traditional wedding vows, and seek to personalize your wedding in other ways. The wedding vows may be the central element of the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with customizing the music, readings, outfits, and flowers to your unique taste!

If your heart is set on writing your own wedding vows, be sure to think carefully about what you plan to say. Remember that vows are solemn promises for the future, not merely statements of present or personal facts. All good wedding vows share common elements: statements of love, faithfulness, and devotion. These vows are made on an unconditional basis, meaning that you are pledging to keep them no matter what challenges arise in your life. Don’t just include romantic feelings. Although romance is very important in a marriage, unconditional love, faithfulness, and devotion are essential during those times (hopefully few!) when romance is fleeting. Wedding vows should incorporate promises and assurance for all possible futures with your spouse while simultaneously glorifying the love and attraction that first brought you together.If you need some help getting started, consider some of the traditional wedding vows included below. These vows include all the essential elements you should include when writing wedding vows, and they can be easily modified or expanded upon to make a unique and personal pledge for your wedding.

Traditional Wedding Vows

I, ________, take thee ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. According to God’s holy ordinance, I thereto I pledge thee my faith.

I, ________, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

I, _______, take you, ________, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life. This pledge I make with all my heart.

Romantic Wedding Vows

I, _____, ask you, _____, to be my husband/wife as my friend and my love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future to deepen and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together we will dream, will stumble but restore each other, we will share all things, serving each other and our fellow humanity. I will cherish and respect you, comfort and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as we shall live, freed and bound by our love.

I, _______, take you, _______, to be my husband/wife, and these things I promise you:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you;
I will respect, trust, help and care for you;
I will share my life with you;
I will forgive you as we have been forgiven;
and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live.

No matter what vows you choose to make on your wedding day, remember that you and your fiancée have come together in love and devotion towards one another. Recite your wedding vows with eager anticipation for the life you will share. Look into the eyes of your beloved, and pledge eternal devotion. You’ll never regret that decision.

Contributor: Beth Roberts