Ask The Celebration Advisor: I have been best friends with my friend Gemma since we were in elementary school. She's really good friends with my fiancee also, but she already has a maid of honor. Is it ok if my best man is a woman? ~ Jeron in Montpelier
The Celebration Advisor: We see it in movies all of the time. Guys and girls are best friends and forsake same-gender friendships. These are usually the romantic comedies that end up with those friends getting together in the end. They're fun to watch and oddly enough are beginning to skew the way traditional wedding etiquette affects the "best man" honor.
Yes, it's acceptable but there are obviously many things to consider before giving this honor to your best friend. First, is your best gal pal willing to take up the duties of the best man? She won't be wearing a tuxedo so she won't be at the fittings and likely will not be dealing with them. Therefore, responsibilities like these will fall to you or another groomsmen. If you can overlook this, go for it.
Also, consider your fiance's feelings. What does she think? Is she ok with it? Would she rather have her as a bridesmaid? Because of those crazy romantic movies, this is something that requires serious conversation before action is taken. If your fiancee feels that it is a nice gesture, you've found an incredible woman and are lucky to have two great women in your life!
Do you have a brother or best guy friend who will feel slighted? If the answer is no, you are not in the wrong to make a woman your best man. If you do have males who would better fit the role, give this consideration before making your decision.
The simplest answer is that yes you can make a woman your best man but there are far too many things to consider first for it to be an easy choice to make.
nice