In researching the question; why do grooms carry the bride over the threshold? I found many interesting reasons.

One reason is it was considered bad luck for a bride to trip over the threshold of her home. This just doesn’t seem romantic enough. Certainly, I could see how this would be bad luck especially for the groom. After all if the bride became injured or mad because she tripped, it could make the honeymoon a not so pleasant one.

Further research shows, a slightly more romantic note. In days of old a woman was not to give up her virginity so easily. Thus the man would sweep her off her feet and assert his manliness over her carrying her off to the honeymoon bed. This way the women even though married would still appear virtuous. However romantic as that might seems, it probably is rooted more in the tradition of kidnapping of women (during Roman times) and making her a bride to her abductor.

In some cultures, it is believed one’s family demons would follow the bride to her new home. To keep them at bay, the groom would carry the bride over his threshold. By carrying the bride over the threshold the demons could not follow or ever enter their new home.

In today’s western countries, the custom of carrying the bride over the threshold is still practiced. I suspect, mostly, because it has been romanticized in TV and movies. Just a little tip for those who want to carry on this tradition – make sure the groom has been working out.

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Throughout history food has been used to symbolize many different things in different cultures. In Polish tradition you have the Bread and Salt blessing. In Russian weddings the use of bread helped determine who the head of the family would be. Two different cultures but each use bread in their wedding tradition.

Polish Wedding Tradition- Bread and Salt Blessing

The Polish wedding tradition of The Bread and Salt Blessing is a sweet tradition that can be incorporated into today’s modern weddings. At the wedding reception the bride and groom are met by both sets of parents. The parents have a loaf of bread sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. The parents then say “According to our Old Polish tradition, we greet you with bread and salt so that your home might always enjoy abundance.”

The bread is given in hopes that the bride and groom will never go hungry or be in need. The salt conveys that time may be difficult but they must learn to cope with the struggles in their life and marriage. The wine, as with the bread, give hope that the couple never goes thirsty and their lives be filled with joy and happiness.

The bride and groom each take a piece of the bread and a drink of the wine and then break the plate and the glass by throwing them to the ground. The parents then give a kiss to the couple and the reception begins.

Russian Bread Tradition

The Russians have a unique way to determine who the head of the household is. During the wedding ceremony or at the reception, the bride and groom are given a loaf of karavay (a small round loaf of bread). Someone holds the bread for them as they each take a bite from the loaf. Whomever takes the bigger bite is the considered the head of the family.

As with the Polish tradition the bread is also a symbol for health, long life and wealth. And after the bites are taken, the bride and groom take a drink as well and then break the glasses from which they drank.

Even though each culture has different ways to use bread in their ceremonies, the bread still has the same symbolization. That symbolization is what makes this these traditions so great. The Polish and Russians probably got the ideas and varied the ways the breads are used from the Romans. This shows us that the tradition, even if changed slightly, goes on forever, passed down from generation to generation.

How lovely that we can enjoy all the cultural traditions and differences and incorporate them into our modern days weddings.

In most all weddings, at the end of the ceremony the bride and groom exchange a kiss. The wedding kiss is one of the longest wedding traditions to still be in use today. As with most traditions, they all stem from either a religious nature or more of a business-like nature. Kissing at the end of the wedding ceremony garners history from both the religious aspect, as well as, contractual one.

Roman history shows that a couple was betrothed if they kissed passionately in front of a large group including family. In old world Christian culture, they viewed a wedding kiss as a symbol of the scripture – two souls becoming one flesh. However we can note that in Roman society, a kiss was used, as we do today, as a gesture of a commitment; much like we use a handshake at the end of a business deal. In fact during Roman times, a kiss given to another party was used to signify a legal contract. Yes, even for just a everyday business deal a kiss sealed the deal. So, a groom and a bride would seal the deal (marriage contract) with a kiss. Romans had three types of kisses; a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the lips and then a deeper more passionate kiss. I believe the latter was the wedding kiss.

Going back to the religious side, some early Christian’s believed clinking glass at the wedding or wedding reception would scare off the devil. After this was done, the couple would exchange a kiss to show joy and happiness.  Whether was done for religious reasons, contractual, reason the wedding day kiss is now a tradition that is sweet and endearing.

I know, you read the title and said, cake pulls? I thought southerners were in to truck pulls…Never heard of a cake pull, and what does it have to do with wedding traditions?  A cake pull actually comes to us from our Victorian ancestors and as it turns out that Southerners are the ones who usually carry on this tradition.

What Is A Cake PULL

A cake pull is where the wedding cake has silk ribbons with charms slipped under the last layer.  These charms are made of sterling silver. Traditionally the charms are a ring, a heart, a star, hot air balloon, and anchor, to name a few. These charms have symbolic meaning.  The charms are placed under the last layers and are made to easily pull out by the brides maids as the tradition goes.  If a bride’s maid pulled out the ring, this symbolizes a wedding in the future. A star symbolizes wishes come true while a heart means a new love.

Sad but true a friend of a friend decided she was going to do the cake pull tradition at her wedding.  Except she baked the cake pulls into her cake. (Not a good idea, it ruins the cake when you pull the charms out.) If you decided to do this tradition, please make sure you have the bakery put the charms under the last layer and I also recommend that they use some parchment paper between the cake and the cake pulls, this makes it easier to pull them out.

Modern Day Cake Pulls

I suggest using the cake pull tradition but not with the wedding cake.  Imagine the horror of someone pulling the cake pull a bit to roughly and your whole wedding cake falling to the floor.  My suggestion is to do it as a separate cake for the bridesmaids, maybe at the bridal shower, or as a novel way to give the bridesmaids their bridesmaid’s gifts.  You can personalize them by choosing charms that means something to you and your bridesmaids.

I also like the idea that the Bride’s Mother and the Groom’s Mother have their own Mother’s cake and this is where the cake pulls are.  This idea works well for small weddings. The mothers buy the charms and have the cake made. As the guests come into the reception hall each guest is asked to do a cake pull.  Each guest then gives the bride the charms for her to put on a bracelet that the fathers have bought and given to the bride.

Don’t you agree that the tradition of cake pulls needs to make a come back, of course with a modern twist?

Captive Honeymoon!

This past weekend I attended a lovely morning wedding.  The ceremony time was chosen, not because morning light is so beautiful, but so the couple could catch an early flight to their honeymoon destination.  This made me wonder, where did the honeymoon tradition start?

Weddings have taken place in some form or another since the beginning of history. However, I wondered if early honeymoons were like they are now.  I doubt that past generations could afford to travel as we do now for our honeymoons.  So I began my own journey to find the answer to “where did the honeymoon tradition come from?”

In my quest, I found it had to do with the “capture of the bride” era. This era is known as marriage by capture and in some third world countries still takes place.  Historically “marriage by capture” is roughly attributed to the 15th century and considered the beginning of the honeymoon concept.  However, honeymoons may have occurred much early.

The honeymoon took place after the man captured or took his “bride”. The “groom” would steal the “bride” away from her family and all others for a “moon’s time” which is roughly 30 days.  Hopefully during the thirty days, the bride would conceive a child.  Forcing her family to “consent” to a marriage.

Why all the drama? For one, the groom was usually from another tribe and not likely to be given consented to marry the women.  Kidnapping was a way to force the issue and the thirty days gave the “groom” time to persuade the family.

Why Honeymoon?

During the 30 days of “marriage by capture”, the groom would give his captured “bride” a drink of mead know as metheglin.  Mead is a fermented drink of herbs and honey. This drink made from honey and given to the bride by her groom during a “moons time” gives us the word of honeymoon.

Down through the ages as we have moved from a tribal to a civil society , the honeymoon tradition has given way to a more romantic sentiment.  Now the groom and bride plan a trip away from family and friends. Their honeymoon destination allows them to enjoy their wedded bliss.